Thursday, June 7, 2012

Things I Love Thursday: Train Creepin'

I don't know what y'all were thinking, letting me be a part of "polite" society.  Because I am just socially unacceptable and I refuse to stop now!  Being rude to strangers (for a good cause!) is the new black, baby!  Embrace it, my embraceable yous!

Take, for example, the subway.  Or an elevator.  Does it make more sense to:

a.  Step aside and allow passengers to exit the tiny confined space before making your way on board, or
b.  Come at the unsuspecting riders like a linebacker and push them back onto the train where they stumble backwards, bewildered and threatened, as the doors close and they miss their stop?

If you selected "b," please locate the bleach under you bathroom sink and DRINK IT, because you are all the evil in this world.

For my part, whenever I see the latter taking place, I will mutter aloud (but perhaps not loud enough?) something along these lines.

"Well, okay, that's rude."

or
"That's a choice...the wrong choice."

It's YOUR FAULT, society!  You MADE ME this way!

On a brighter note, you'll be happy to know I've still yet to be cured of my bizarre and off-putting habit of photographing attractive strangers on the train:



Dear Random Girl on the A Train:

Please don't think I'm creepy.

Even though I'm obviously very creepy.

But you probably don't care...because you're too cool to care.  WAY too cool to care about that whole "Don't lean against the doors" thing!  Keep leaning against the doors!  I don't mind!  For you, an exception, just keep looking like you couldn't give less of a     .

This one actually SMILED at me.  SMILED!  At me!  And I was too bashful to smile back.  Stupid!  The captured stance is just one of many poses this guy was pulling.  I'm pretty sure he models professionally, because he was relating to his environment way too well for a petty mortal.  And I'm a huge fan of his nose.  Maybe if I see him again, I'll smile back, and we can become OMGBFFs, and he'll let me borrow it once in a while?

So know ye the signs of train creepiness:

- Dark glasses to hide staring/disdainful eye rolling
- Under-breath muttering
- Suspicious iPhone jockeying.  Are you shuffling through your playlist, really?  Or are you searching for the best angle for a photograph?*

I apologize to any who were offended.  And if you recognize your picture here, call me...maybe?


* a friend alerted me that the best "cover" for taking unsolicited iPhone photos of strangers is to have your headphones in, and phone on vibrate/silent.  No shutter sound, and you can pretend to be shuffling through music.  I concur that this works, and is better than "pretending to be writing a text," because people typically look down to text, and look eye-level to shuffle through music.  You don't want to seem like a weirdo who texts at eye-level, right, fellow creepers?

5 comments:

  1. Oh how I adore you, little creeper. I like that girl's glasses.

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    1. I love her entire outfit! I couldn't get it all in frame, but she had the coolest dark-wash boot-cut jeans and light blue trainers. I dig the matching plastic watch/glasses combo, too. Her hair was amazing. It's the perfect cut for her. Girl just had so much STYLE!!!

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  2. I've missed reading about your subway adventures in New York and comparing them with London. That man does have a lovely Roman nose, I agree.

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    Replies
    1. That's exactly what I was thinking! I'm a sucker for a beautiful nose! He looks like Michelangelo's David, a bit, to me!

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  3. Heee! I love this! Totally support your subway creeping. Do it more!! :)

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