Spike

For some reason, strangers always feel comfortable opening up to me about the weirdest things.  Their dead daughter.  Their diabetes.  Whatever.  I guess I'm just super approachable?  Simon Doonan, my style guru, says that if you dress "common," people will feel more comfortable opening up to you.  Time to chuck the jeans and sneakers routine for something a little more...intimidating?  Voila, today's outift:

It has spikes on it.  SPIKES!  Nobody wants to tell a girl wearing spikes about their prolapsed colon on the subway...right?

Or so I thought.  As I left the house, I ran into my neighborhood admirer.  He always compliments my outfits.  Maybe he's a deeply undercover fashion designer?  Today he stopped me yet again.

"Do you want me to ask you your name?"

"Huh?"  I replied, cleverly.  Does that even make sense?

"What's your name?"

"Meghan,"  I blurted out, extending my hand briskly, hoping for a quick shake and a goodbye.

"My name's Mike," he ushered in quickly, but I misheard him.

"Did you say 'Spike'?"

"No, MIKE.  Here, I want to show you something..."  He unzipped his jacket and pulled it open to the side.  What could he have in there?  Stolen watches for sale?  A puppy?  Probably stolen watches?

"Thanks, Mike, but I'm really in a hurry..."  I started to bolt up the hill away from the situation when he started to lift up his shirt.  I froze.  My eyes focused on the waistband of his pants, searching for the gun I was certain I'd find.

"My tattoo!  It has spikes in it!  I thought you'd like it!"

"Great!  See ya around, Mike!"  Oh well.  I guess wearing spikes to ward off attention from strangers is NOT a viable strategy.  I almost regretted not taking a picture of the moment to show you all, it was so odd and surreal.

And as I turned the corner, I worried to myself.  Was I rude to Mike just then?


BOOM.  That's why strangers feel comfortable baring their souls - and chestpieces - to me in the street.  Like it or not, not matter how I dress myself, I am and will always be (gulp)

...NICE !!!