Movie Review - On The Town

Three sailors on shore leave in Manhattan try to get dames. By SINGING.

Movie Review - The Tournament

Ving Rhames is angry and runs around covered in blood screaming about "Mary".

A Case Of the Mondays!!!

see more dog and puppy pictures

How To Tell If The Hip Club You're In Is Actually A Gay Bar

The name of the place is a single monosyllabic word, or simply a picture of a rooster.

The girls dancing in the cages are really, really tall and actually friendly.

Lady Gaga (or a man dressed up as Lady Gaga) is there.

There is any sort of foam.

The only beer on tap is Stella Artois.

The restrooms are labelled thusly: Men and "Women".

That might be Neil Patrick Harris in the corner.

Instead of the football game, the televisions are playing tennis, rugby, or the latest episode of "Glee".

You Might Be A Tourist If...

...you're taking a picture with your friends in front of the New Moon merchandise display in Toys 'R' Us. You know what you did.

Best Cupcakes at Martha's Country Bakery

1. Black Forest

2. Peanut Butter

3. Coconut

4. Carrot

5. Red Velvet

Movie Review - Year One

Even really brilliant and likeable actors can make a bad movie if they try hard enough.

Never was so true

see more Funny Graphs

Pigs + Pugs = FUNNY!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Movie Review - Law Abiding Citizen

An eye for an eye makes a senselessly bloody film.

Gerard Butler pokes out a few other people's eyes as well.

Puppy Halloween!!!

TD Bank is great today

Both of the following things happened at TD Bank today:

1. They brought back the candy mints I had been asking about ever since September when they last had them, and

2. A giant scary looking dog waiting in line (to deposit some biscuits?) wagged his tail at me, and when I remarked, "Aww, cute!", ran over to me (much to my consternation, actually) and then proceeded to lick me with his giant tongue of happiness.

HAHAHAHA!

see more dog and puppy pictures

I completely agree...

see more dog and puppy pictures

This made me laugh out loud...

see more dog and puppy pictures

None of these are available at Key Foods anymore...

Best Yogurts Out There:

1. Yoplait Light Blueberry Patch

2. Dannon Light & Fit White Chocolate Raspberry

3. Yoplait Light Raspberry Cheesecake

4. Dannon Light & Fit Cherry Vanilla

Movie Review - Whip It

If you can get past the fact that Drew Barrymore is in almost every frame, this sometimes predictable movie will actually knock your socks off with sheer force of girl power. Two thumbs up.

I like his attitude...

see more dog and puppy pictures

It Doesn't Get Any Cuter Than This

see more dog and puppy pictures

Consolation

Shredding papers is a great way of easing the pain of having worked hard all your life in school and winding up shredding papers.

FUNNY!!!!

see more dog and puppy pictures

I Couldn't Agree More

see more dog and puppy pictures

Top Three Fortune Cookie Fortunes

1. "Enjoy yourself while you can." ...because this cookie is poinsoned.

2. "Love is the first feeling people feel because love is nice." File that one under DUH.

3. "About time I got out of that cookie."

Lohengrin-and-Bear it

For some reason, I see a lot of similarities between Wagner's "Elsa's Procession to the Cathedral" and ABBA's "Arrival".

NO SCRUBS!

see more dog and puppy pictures

An Old Classic, Made Current...

Knock Knock...

"Who's there?"

Interrupting cow.

"Interrupting cow wh-"

Yo, yo, I'm-a let you finish, but MOO.

(Spread it around. You know you want to.)

I blame the parents...they named her "Muffin".

http://lxtv.com/openhousenyc/video/9848

THis woman is a gas...or maybe that's what she's been huffing...

OPTIMISM!!!

A Funny Exchange I Had at Work...

Evil Mean Boss: "Did you burn my toast?"
Me: "No, the toaster did."

Sometimes you just need to put bullies in their place.

Movie Review - Inglorious Basterds

Everybody dies.

Fall Means Sweaters!!!

see more dog and puppy pictures

This Is One of the Weirdest Things I Have Seen in New York...

Have you ever seen someone eat an avocado, whole, peeling it and taking bites out of it? I have.

On A Related Note, There's a Lost Turtle in the Bowery Somewhere...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

At Least She Was Honest With Herself

A woman I spoke to (or at least, attempted to speak to) on the phone recently said only this:

"I cannot English"

And

"Leave a message?"

How would I leave a message? Would she take it down phonetically? That would be something to see.

Remember These From School?

see more Funny Graphs

I don't entirely agree with the sentiment, but I find the concept amusing.

And That's Not Counting the Pickpockets

Tourists to Times Square today were thrice robbed:

1. "$10 for an UMBRELLA???"
2. "$5 for a poncho???"
3. "And it's so foggy, you can't even see the Empire State Building!"

And I thought Pugs could Tilt!!!!

My Newest Obsession...

TMI Weekly...

For anyone who loves Sex and the City. Or just the City.



Find it on YouTube.

Movie Review - 17 Again

Exactly what you think is going to happen, happens. It's Peggy Sue Got Married from a male perspective.

Is it in Brooklyn? Or Harlem?

As of tomorrow, I've lived in New York for one year. That's just long enough to be able to give directions to confused tourists, but still short enough that I don't actually know where Washington Heights is.

This Reminds Me of a Kids in the Hall Sketch...

see more dog and puppy pictures

Thank Goodness the Meeting Was Friendly...

Movie Review - Special

Maybe he's got powers....oh wait, no he doesn't. But maybe he does....nope....or maybe... No, no, he definetly doesn't...Unless....

Well, he definetly has the power to bum me out. Flowers for Algernon for Superheros.

Movie Review - Confessions of a Shopaholic

This movie could literally not be any worse.

Stop her before she spends all of Borat's money.

...Or a Hippie's Daughter...

I think "Nectarine" would be a great name for a drag performer.

Movie Review - District 9

Johannesburg is infested by giant cockroaches who have laser guns. And they're the ...good guys??? Instant classic.

Make sure your volume is up....

What could be more hilarious???

Ode to the Crazy Homeless Lady Who Shoved Me Hard in the Subway

Downtown bound West 4th Street Platform,
You pushed me on the side-slash/arm.
I saw the cops, but they didn't see
You randomly assaulting me.
Were you rushing for the train?
Or angry because you're insane?
The train doors shut, and, with a sneer,
You shouted obscenities so all could hear,
Pulled up your shorts and glared around
As the train continued downtown.
For no matter what you may have done,
The 8th Avenue Local waits for noone.

My Boyfriend Proves that the Third Try's the Charm

"Whatever you have a fear of, it goes away when you close your mouth"

- Todd Robbins

I missed my calling to write for Sex and the City

Men are like shoes, the cuter they are, the more they hurt you.

Or I could go back to West 4th Street and find a homeless lady to do it for me...

I just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love; then leafed through the Ikea catalog and pored over Time Out NY. I've become one of those New Yorkers I always wanted to be, and only recently have wanted to punch in the face.

...and I'm sure he has other good qualities as well...

One of the things that really amazes me about my boyfriend is that I truly think he believes that tissues, napkins, paper towels and toilet paper are interchangeable.

The runners-up were animal prints and hooker heels.

If I had to pick an article of clothing that best represents the borough of Queens, it has to be the track suit. It's averaging 90 degrees lately, and I STILL see women of all ages, races, and walks of life wearing these bejeweled, velour monstrosities.

Dueling Upright Basses?

On nice days, Washington Square Park always has at least two jazz combos going simultaneously on either side of the park. Wonder if they ever have to battle to defend their turf?

Important Fashion Update!

My homeless dress admirer did NOT like my outfit today. I lacked for validation.

Haiku #3

Everything You Need to Know About Twilight

Edward loves Bella
And Bella loves Edward back
That's pretty much it.

The other 20% is spent on the Subway.

The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is the closest thing to real magic I have ever seen, and that means a lot because I spend about 80% of my time around magicians.

That's why they call them the "dog days"

You know it's a hot day when the usually rowdy dogs at the dog park are lying in whatever shade they can find, staring up at the sky as if to say, "Please, God, let my master take me back inside to the air conditioning!"

Fashion Commentator?

For the past two days, the homeless guy in front of Delion on the corner of Broadway and Waverly Place has told me, "Nice dress." I attract the weirdest cat-calls.

A Universal Fact of Life...

People who wait until the last minute to do things, are PUNISHING the people who get things done on time for being responsible. How is that fair?